My dear Efra, mein liebster Edgar, my dearest uncle!

You’ve been much, much more for me than only my father’s brother, much more than an uncle! I would like to thank you from all of my heart for the deep connection which has been possible between us, for your warmth, your understanding and your love! Writing this, I have the feeling to talk to you personally and I wished, I would have said all I will say now, or I would have written such a letter to you, in a time when you still have been amongst us!

I am writing in English, so that your family can understand what I am telling you. But while I am writing, I think of you in German. I remember this very special and familiar feeling talking German with you, in Schoval, in the desert, in Akko, at the dead sea, no matter where. Talking to you in my and your mother tongue, in a country which initially was foreign and unknown for me gave this country which I’ve learned to love a familiar face. The deepening of this familiarity, I am owing also your children and their partners to a substantial extent – and later also your grand-children!

When I was a child, I did not know anything about this wonderful family abroad, in Israel. My father was traumatized, it was not possible for him to hold the connection. The fear was too overwhelming. I’ve learned this only in the last years of his life where I could adumbrate how big this fear was. But I know of course, and I could feel it how hurting my father’s behavior and perceived disinterest was for you! I know that it would have made you very happy to also show him your beloved country in which you have belonged to the real pioneers!

I was already nineteen when we first met and I’ve quickly gained trust and affection into you, very untypically for me at that time – since I was very withdrawn and shy. You have had some similarities to my father, rather superficially, some gestures, facial expressions, the way you walked, and on the other hand you have been so different in important aspects. I remember very vividly when you told me how you handled anxiety and fear, also in respect to your children. This was so new for me! You’ve asked why I was so quiet and introverted. Although I could not answer your question, it was important to me! It put the focus on a fact that seemed self-evident to me, and I realized, it was not! You see what significance you’ve had for me since almost our first hours together! – And this increased a lot over the years!

You’ve always invited us to stay with you in the Kibbutz and I have to say, although you did never say that everything was perfect living in a Kibbutz, I was deeply impressed! Never before I felt this kind of atmosphere, which was hard to put into words, and although knowing that there must have been also difficult aspects (otherwise it would be an unworldly idealization), it was unique for me and touched me deeply. But I was and am sure that being so touched had also a lot to do with you!

At that time, around 1980, and until only a few years ago, you did show us your country from North to South and from East to West. I have so many and so wonderful memories of that time! You’ve drove us through the Negev and Sinai till Sharm El Sheikh, where I saw my first Jewish wedding with its rituals and the Chuppa, with wonderful music and directly on the beach... You’ve always had a big box with food and big bottles of water – and it was always perfectly calculated. I felt totally secure with you because you’ve always thought of everything. Neither breakdowns with the car have been a problem, nor cows on the street (it was in the North of the country). Later, you loved to remember the scene with the cow!

Then in the second half of the 1980ies, I came with Peter and again, we made wonderful excursions together. He was impressed by the country and by you and the family as well! When Peter and I decided to marry, it was my deepest wish not to marry without you! And indeed, you came to our wedding which I’ve appreciated a lot, it made me happy! In general, I have to say that whenever it was important to me that you come to Vienna, you did it! Be it in the year 2000, which was a difficult one for me, be it when my father was already very ill and wanted to see you – you came immediately without resentments -, be it at his funeral, and there have been even more occasions.

My dear Edgar, in many respects you are a role model for me! Your courage, your positivity, how you took very difficult and so painful experiences, like the severe injury of your oldest son Ilan, how you have been willing to take care of the late and very ill Cecilia, this is indeed very remarkable! I remember, we talked over the phone, my father was already very ill and you said: “Well, he had a very hard life”, and I said: “yes, but your life has also been hard” – to my astonishment you said: “no – you know what? Every day, when I woke up, I knew I have to eat and I have something to dress! And then, I was adventurous, I wanted to be free, I wanted to help to build up something – and this was possible. He, Herbert, he was not free, he has had a hard life.” I was impressed by what you have said! I know that you could not have imagined to return to the country from which you had to flee and I am convinced that you’ve never doubted that you’ve made the right decision. Your mother, my grandmother, did understand you, I can also understand you! You always told me that your mother had a very cheerful, good and beneficial temper, I think this is what characterizes you as well! And I had always the impression that you could deal with things how they were without complaining but accepting the situation and looking ahead in a constructive way. I also admired your humanistic attitude and your impartiality! You see why I say you are a “Vorbild” (role model) for me!

Although I still think that your life had difficult and painful sites, I think it was not only a long, but most importantly, a very rich life, full of that you’ve wished to live. And you created a very big family – and what a family! So warmhearted, so cordial, so capable! We and I are happy and proud to have such a family in Israel which we feel is very close to us!

You will always be in my heart, I am happy that you have been my uncle and as I said, much, much more than an uncle! Wherever you are now, I hope my words, my feelings and my love can reach you! Thank you so much for everything!

In deep love,

Inge

and with much love also from Peter, Magdalena and Raphael

P.S.: I remember that you have been apparently concerned that the contact between the families in Austria and in Israel could stop again. At this point, I have also to thank my mother, because it was her concern and merit to make up what my father has missed. When the time came where Peter and I and our children had the chance to come closer to Amira and Chach and Arnon and Michal as well as to your grand-children – and again we’ve spent wonderful days and talks and excursions together -, you have said with relief: “Jetzt geht es schon weiter” (now, it will go on). Yes, it will go on, for sure! The connection and love are deep

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